(One) Perspective on Queer Life in China

I started this project with the intention of showcasing one or two perspectives on LGBT life in China, because this was a subject I was unfamiliar with and I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone. The subject was also chosen due to proximity, as I work with Lingxiao at the Queer Resource Center and I’ve wanted to ask her about her perspective as an queer international student for awhile. I had intended to search for at least one other person to interview so that I would be able to weave in more perspectives and juxtapose their similarities and differences (especially because China is big country and even two people would not be close to comprehensive representation), but I got super sick for almost three weeks and did not have the energy to search for and interview another person. In the end, it was good that I was only able to interview Lingxiao, because there was only so much I could include in five minutes, and there is already a lot that didn’t make it into the video.

I started with a few questions and asked follow-up questions as they came up when I needed clarification. These are the questions I wrote before the interview:

1. What was your experience growing up in China (in general)?
2. Tell me about when you first realized you were queer/that you were attracted to women.
3. Was coming out an option for you? What was the process like? Is there a concept of “coming out” in Chinese culture, and how is it different from in the U.S.?
4. How did you parents/friends/family react?
5. What is queer life like in China?
6. How was the transition to the U.S.?

What I learned through this process was that it’s really hard to make a documentary or ethnographic film of this length if you’re also trying to be sensitive to cultural nuances. I really did not want to fall into the trap of representing a culture inaccurately, which is why I titled it “Perspective on…”, to make it clear that this was only one person’s perspective rather than a film that could be used to form definitive conclusions about queer culture in China. That is what makes it ethnographic rather than documentary, since it’s more in line with an oral history.

I think if I had had more time to create the film, and if I could have lengthened the runtime, I could have created a better film in terms of validity as documentary. I tried my best, but even though this finalized product seems cohesive, I fear that through the editing process, I left out something important, or that I somehow misrepresented something the interviewee said. Without the constraints of time, I would have gone more in depth about her experiences as a Chinese person in general and then her experiences as a queer person in China, her transition to her time here in the States, and the differences she identified during our interview. There was one clip where she talked about how public displays of affection were frowned upon in queer couples, but that they would elicit the same sort of reaction even if the couples were straight, due to the culture of separation between public and private life in China. There was simply no room to include that, as well as the discussion on the differences between how the older generations dealt with queerness versus younger generations. The hardest part was figuring out which aspects to cut and which to keep in, while trying to maintain a balance in the film of negative and positive observations. I hope I was successful in that, but I’ll let others be the judge.

One of the other problems I had was my struggle to find footage to splice into the film while the subject was talking. I didn’t want the film to be just footage of an oral history, but I had to show something that enhanced the rest of the film. I ended up filming her walking around, talking to classmates, and studying. I also got some shots of the walls in the Queer Resource Center and of her office, but I am unhappy with that part of the film and think I could have utilized the space better, perhaps with photos from her high school and college days, maps or illustrations of her hometown or school, etc. This is something to keep in mind for future documentary projects, to make sure that the footage actually adds something to the film rather than acting as filler.

Overall, I’m pleased with my final video because I honestly did not think I would be able to complete it in time. I wish the camera I used wasn’t so old that most of the footage was a little blurry, but that can’t be helped. Ultimately, I think I was able to showcase an experience that may not get a lot of attention in the U.S., and I’m proud of the work that I did to complete the project.